Montessori express: everything is NOT fine
When a child cries, everything is not fine. Here's an alternative of what to say in those moments.
Carlotta Cerri
–
Fondatrice de La Tela
31 gennaio 2021
❌ Everything is fine!
❌ Nothing happened.
When our kids cry, regardless of the reason, it's not true that nothing has happened and it's not true that everything is fine (at least, not in their mind): it's okay to admit that sometimes everything is not fine, it helps to learn to admit and accept our emotions. When they are calm, that's the time to talk about what happened and to point out that yes, now everything is fine.
✅ I'm here with you!
✅ I'm here for you!
This is the most important message for a child who is in pain or struggles with their emotions, and it's also an effective way to change our mindset and to delay our reactions and words until we understand how to cope with this particular situation, and we remind ourselves that it's important to always give the benefit of the doubt (no matter if their crying is annoying or doesn't make sense to us).
❌ Nothing happened.
When our kids cry, regardless of the reason, it's not true that nothing has happened and it's not true that everything is fine (at least, not in their mind): it's okay to admit that sometimes everything is not fine, it helps to learn to admit and accept our emotions. When they are calm, that's the time to talk about what happened and to point out that yes, now everything is fine.
✅ I'm here with you!
✅ I'm here for you!
This is the most important message for a child who is in pain or struggles with their emotions, and it's also an effective way to change our mindset and to delay our reactions and words until we understand how to cope with this particular situation, and we remind ourselves that it's important to always give the benefit of the doubt (no matter if their crying is annoying or doesn't make sense to us).
Scritto da
Carlotta Cerri
– Fondatrice de La Tela
Sono la fondatrice de La Tela, creatrice del podcast Educare con calma e dal 2019 viaggio a tempo pieno con la mia famiglia Alex, Oliver ed Emily. Mi ritengo una visionaria pessimista: so come voglio cambiare l’educazione e che genitore ho scelto di essere, ma la maggior parte dei giorni mi sembra di scalare pareti di vetro. Ma forse proprio per questo so come aiutarti quando mi scrivi: perché ci passo anche io per quel disagio e ti dico le verità scomode con gentilezza e senza giudizio.
