My kid doesn't want to apologise
How to react when our children don't want to apologise
Carlotta Cerri
–
Fondatrice de La Tela
10 marzo 2021·4 commenti
❌ Apologize immediately!
❌ Look what you've done!
If a child doesn't want to apologise, it's probably because they're not ready yet. Are you always ready to apologise immediately when you hurt someone? No. Then why do you expect your kids to do it? Laughing or shouting "No!" and running away are normal behaviours of a child who knows to have done something wrong, but doesn't know how to handle the situation.
✅ Can I help you apologize? (to your kid when they're calm)
✅ Are you okay? (to the victim)
First, make sure the "victim" is ok: this models the behaviour that you'd like your children to do when they see an injustice. Give them time to process, wait for them to calm down, keep calm yourself, have empathy, don't force them to apologise, and instead offer to *help* them do so.
❌ Look what you've done!
If a child doesn't want to apologise, it's probably because they're not ready yet. Are you always ready to apologise immediately when you hurt someone? No. Then why do you expect your kids to do it? Laughing or shouting "No!" and running away are normal behaviours of a child who knows to have done something wrong, but doesn't know how to handle the situation.
✅ Can I help you apologize? (to your kid when they're calm)
✅ Are you okay? (to the victim)
First, make sure the "victim" is ok: this models the behaviour that you'd like your children to do when they see an injustice. Give them time to process, wait for them to calm down, keep calm yourself, have empathy, don't force them to apologise, and instead offer to *help* them do so.
Scritto da
Carlotta Cerri
– Fondatrice de La Tela
Sono la fondatrice de La Tela, creatrice del podcast Educare con calma e dal 2019 viaggio a tempo pieno con la mia famiglia Alex, Oliver ed Emily. Mi ritengo una visionaria pessimista: so come voglio cambiare l’educazione e che genitore ho scelto di essere, ma la maggior parte dei giorni mi sembra di scalare pareti di vetro. Ma forse proprio per questo so come aiutarti quando mi scrivi: perché ci passo anche io per quel disagio e ti dico le verità scomode con gentilezza e senza giudizio.
